This is the elFBI, open up!

Whenever I want to say something is cool, I have to complete the whole phase of “cool, alright. C-c-cool, alright, kick it.” But if I’m being sarcastic about the thing being cool, I will say the first part but then continue on to say “ki-ki-kicks my mom”.

Yeah, I saw one yesterday for the first time during football because I typically avoid all the classic sources of commercials, and it was just two dude bros who looked like they were making a podcast sitting around saying “Yo, I don’t want all my tax money being used to give prisoners sex change operations”. And I thought, “who on earth would this possible convince to vote for Trump who wasn’t already absolutely going to?”