Not a newt

In half the campaigns, the Doctor Farts PC ends up being the MVP because they weren’t minmaxed and as a result have much more utility.

DM: “The phone rings.”

Player: “I pick it up.”

Cthulhu: “Wasaaaaaaaaaaaaap!”

Player: *Cries blood*

Assets. That’s what I get for trusting the phone keyboard.

Find companies that resell EOL corporate arrest assets like refurb.io

“The fork rejects your advances.”

Cobalt 60 has a half life of 5.27 years. Assuming that a language lost to time is at least 500 years old, the rod should be fairly safe to handle. Heck, even after only 100 years less than 0.01% of the original amount of radioactive material would be left.

But that aside - One of the items that can be found in the video game series Avernum is Uranium bars, which give you a nice unhealthy glow :)

I’d rather Stewart continue with his activism. Colbert on the other hand…

Sounds like what you want is tracing. OpenTelemetry is the de facto standard for that. Couple it with aggressive sampling (here’s a great talk on it https://www.usenix.org/conference/srecon24americas/presentation/cruz ) and you’ll have a very efficient way of identifying use patterns.