False equivalence

No matter his age and cholesterol levels, they’ll claim ‘the left finally got him’.

I always took crickets coming out of the political arena to be a positive. I want my politicians to shut the fuck up and govern, thank you very much.

At the end of that word salad he says something regarding masochism, so I think he actually meant to reply, but his reading comprehension left him hanging so he didn’t catch OP was talking about John Oliver (being the Western European living in the US).

(That, or they are just the fevered ramblings of a syphilitic brain. either way, your ‘wtf is this even’ applies)

I can’t believe I almost ate a non-existent onion.

Btw also an awesome way of telling people you’re pregnant.