WittyProfileName2 [she/her]

Headband of miner intellect:

• Forged by a dwarven artificer who lost too many colleagues due to their lax attitude around safety.

• Anyone wearing this headband becomes aware of the quality of air and props for whatever tunnel they’re currently in.

• Wearers possess an intrusive urge to find proper protective equipment before attempting a task.

Also it’s blunt as a butter knife because none of its past users wanted to try to sharpen something that is always on fire.

Immovable Rod:

• Not actually a magical rod.

• Actually just a bloke called Roderick, or Rodney, or something to that effect.

• Won’t move out of your way.

• Not even if you ask politely.

During the state mandated mourning, a man was arrested for carrying a piece of blank paper because the police thought he might write a protest slogan on it later.

Manpril sounds like an over-the-counter erectile dysfunction medicine that’s got a list of side effects taller than the bottle it comes in.

Have a good day, friend

You too, mate.

Ah, you’re right, I see now, boiling down Marxist critique into “can’t control emotions” and “only wants money” while celebrating the individualistic ramblings of a lead-poisoned imperial despot, is a much more rational outlook.

Systemic issues aren’t real, you just gotta stop thinking bad thoughts and suddenly the crushing oppression that Aurelius was writing in defense of don’t matter.

“Hmm, why would man sitting on the top of an inherently unjust system preach complacency with said system as a virtue? Must be because he’s super rational and smart.”

• you, somehow still on that slave mentality in the 21st century.

The fact that you think Trotsky would’ve been less authoritarian than Stalin betrays that you don’t know shit about him yourself.