My backstory is 3 pages. I picked the noble knight background and they’re my retainers.

Seeing through prey animals with their sideways-facing eyes weirds them out. And of course compound eyes are right out.

His former long-time friends such as Michael Cohen say he doesn’t have a sense of humor. At all.

Which makes it all the more galling when every insane thing he says is laughed off as “just a joke” - he means every word.

The White House Correspondent’s Dinner used to serve this purpose, with a headline speaker gently roasting the President and staff (or not-so-gently, as was the case when they had Stephen Colbert host for George W. Bush and he spent half an hour viciously mocking Bush directly to his face).

The Correspondent’s Dinner was neutered when Trump came into office. Not only can Trump not stand being the butt of even the most mild joke, but Seth Meyers’ jokes about Trump at one of Obama’s dinners are the root cause of why he hates him so much, and his go-to response is to destroy anything even vaguely associated with whatever humiliates him.

I’m leery of putting all my most high-value stuff in one place behind one password.

Password managers (at least the non-browser based ones) use methods provided by the OS to protect themselves from screen recording, direct memory reading and keyboard-sniffing. Most password managers can also be set up to require a keyfile and/or physical passkey to unlock their databases.

A keyfile stores data necessary for decryption separate from the password database and means someone couldn’t get into your passwords even if your database was stolen and they knew the master password (assuming you stored your keyfile separate from the database - the file and its location should be treated like a password itself). A keyfile also lets you keep your database on cloud storage while manually transferring the key to trusted devices, allowing cloud syncing of your passwords without fear of leaks - without the keyfile it’s all just random data.

A physical passkey makes it virtually impossible to breach the database unless someone steals the USB device, since it uses a challenge-response model and the data needed to spoof it should never leave the device.

It’s old, but there’s Jonaleth from 2e.

One of our players ran a gnome Diviner with the Lucky feat, letting him reroll a bunch of times per day. He claimed to have invented a new school of magic, retconjuration.

No, but if it travels fast enough it would disintegrate and you could argue the resulting plasma blast would be what actually damages the target.

Relevant XKCD (in video form).

Cathy’s Baby Shower? Also believe it or not, rail gun.

Handing out gifts at the speed of sound.

I’m getting flashbacks to Kangaxx in Baldur’s Gate 2. What do you mean I’m not supposed to fight the optional hidden boss right after completing the tutorial? I don’t care if four out of the six members of my party can’t even scratch him, I’m assembling and fighting that demilich the first second I can!

It’s a self-inflicted hell that I put myself through every. Single. Time. Just like fighting the ancient red dragon Firkraag when he’s introduced instead of coming back much later as intended.

Terry Goodkind is a terrible author and even worse human being, but his “First Rule” was pretty accurate. To wit: “people will believe anything if they want it to be true, or if they’re afraid of it being true.”

There’s a reason a lot of propaganda is either saying how great things are under a group (even when they clearly aren’t), or fear-mongering about their opponents.

Rose: *immediately dies to avoid the consequences of her actions*

The epic showdown you’ve been building towards for years: over in five minutes.

Buying some groceries: requires an entire four-hour session, spilling into the next.

I’ll admit I skip the first few books and start with Mort or Guards, Guards! during a reread depending on which subseries I’m craving. The early books aren’t bad, but they definitely improved as he fleshed out the world more.

The Colour of Magic and The Light Fantastic especially read more like Douglas Adams in style. Later Douglas Adams, when his cynicism was at its peak and he made his characters miserable in response. The following books are much softer and more philosophical in tone.

Death being straight up antagonistic in the first few books (even killing a random cat when angry IIRC) is the most bothersome part of the early stuff. He’s my favorite character in all of fiction, so seeing him characterized like that doesn’t feel great.

Reaper Man is definitely in my top five Discworld novels, and isn’t first only due to how amazing his other books are.

The religious schism in The Fifth Elephant was amazing worldbuilding and made me love them even more.

I also love the line “Tak [Dwarven god] does not require we think of him, only that we think.”

It highlights hypocrisy. His supporters are generally incredibly harsh against anyone with a criminal record, deserved or not. Trump himself paid for multiple full-page newspaper advertisements calling for the reinstatement of the death penalty against accused (pre-trial) defendants and never retracted it, continuing to demand their deaths even after they had been proven innocent.

Oh, supporting a transgender orc could be an entire campaign in itself! I’m of the opinion that transgender issues wouldn’t normally be an issue in a world with permanent polymorph, but for an orc? Even if the tribe had a caster of high enough level, becoming biologically female doesn’t sound great in a traditional orc society (assuming they use their women as baby factories to compensate for their high death rate), and that’s also a culture where not fitting in could have lethal consequences if found out. The orc being a mage adds a fun additional wrinkle if she’s capable of casting it herself but refuses until she gets somewhere safe.

So she’d be putting off the polymorph until after the players help her escape the tribe, while the elders attempt to stop them due to her being one of their few competent mages. Then they have to help her find a place in civilized society that looks down on her for all the things her previous culture praised her for.

I think I fell in love with this character already. Thanks for the inspiration!

Ah, the bane of all adventurers: planning. Why waste time with thinky-think when big stick already hit good?

Though our party of three didn’t include any ranged weapon characters (and my druid was the only caster), so we’d have been completely screwed if the dragon didn’t fail a save before I ran out of spell slots. A strength save, so our own “plan” was a stupid gamble that only paid off due to luck.

“Blood always tells” - some racist jackass whose own family tree resembles a wreath, who probably suffers from a dozen hereditary afflictions themselves. But no, it’s melanin that’s the real measurement of genetic superiority!