…That just implicated one more president.

I mean, who didn’t?

Then again, IIRC, when polled, a sizable percent of men though they could beat up a gorilla, so…

Leaning forward hides your gut.

“Heartwarming: the worst people you know are all fighting”

And it doesn’t even include von Bülow!

Yeah, my “digital ID” is literally a PGP key pair with the police as the authority. It’s like the government giving you a yubikey.

More like “the cops can’t get a search warrant, so they park outside and shoot through the windows, hoping someone fires back”.

Yes. And the point of the joke this meme is aping is that not even the anti-war, anti-imperialist Americans will concern themselves with the feelings of non-Americans.

In fact, the lying guard is a red herring. You get one question, and need one piece of info: the door. The canonical question doesn’t tell you which guard lies, nor do you care to find out.

…Sounds made up? Sounds made up?!?

You mean to tell me you’re here lecturing me about Robert Maxwell’s connections, while not knowing that he was, and I’m gonna directly quote Wikipedia here: “…afforded a lavish funeral in Israel, attended by Israeli Prime Minister Yitzhak Shamir, Israeli President Chaim Herzog, at least six serving and former heads of Israeli intelligence[68] and many dignitaries and politicians, both government and opposition, and was buried on the Mount of Olives in Jerusalem.[69][70] Herzog delivered the eulogy, and the Kaddish was recited by his friend and longtime attorney Samuel Pisar.[71]”?

Goddamn, I even gave you the proper name of the cemetery. You’d think you’d at least google “Robert Maxwell Olive Mount”, but no, “sounds made up”. Jesus fucking Christ, you people…

He did. But he was buried on (in?) Olive Mount.

Mossad is Russian? TIL!

He strikes me as the one genuine example of doing edgy jokes because he actually likes edgy jokes.

What was that quote? “God made man, Samuel Colt made him equal”?

“If only the Tzar knew!”

Some environmentalist is sitting in his office right now, just thinking, “Holy shit, they bought it. They actually bought it!”

“…and as a result…”

Read your own pull quote.

Well, Putin seems to be…

Well, yes, back then, that was seen as a virtue. The idea was that he, as a good host, was willing to bear the cost of ensuring his guest’s well-being.

Keep in mind, this is the same setting where a farher is told to kill his son, and it’s treated as a sacrifice by the father. The patriarch is the only one who fully counts as a person.