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Why would he want to take the helm of this dumpster fire?

My favorite experience in Paris was going around and buying items for a picnic and having it on the lawn in front of the Eiffel Tower at sunset, it was amazing.

US needs more Luigi’s

That dog needs a new owner

I’m so glad I already hated crowds and people in general

When you’re flogging every secretary with tonight’s cigar, it’s not surprising.

Absolutely no one is surprised

They go great with ketchup and Russian dressing

Warns is the wrong word. Teases maybe? Entices? Titillates?

She can’t compete with Trump’s lead amongst the stupids though

I doubt anyone is stunned by this

He’s such a strange angry little man

This got me to half-mast

I think that’s what the diapers are for

Don’t give up hope my friend

Who?

I can’t believe it’s only 20 days until the country is on fire again

Oh god I’m so close, I’ve been edging this type of news for months, I’m going to turn to dust once I finally pop.

What about a spork