How some crazies want ability checks to work:

Player: I gesture vaguely towards the ancient dragon indicating I would like it to give me all of its gold and become my personal pet.

DM: Roll a persuasion check

Player: Let’s see… Minus 4 because I’m still only level 2… With a Nat-20 that’s totals 16

DM: Nat-20? By golly I guess that means you succeed - the ancient dragon and its entire hoard of treasure are yours now.

That’s the kind of check Soros gives me to cover my ANTIFA membership fees

“Describing rapid-response networks [and] moms as professional agitators shows just how out of touch these agents are, and how incredible their views are,” Ellis said.

Shoutout for the proper use of the word incredible.